Sep 23, 2017
September 23. In 1806, Lewis and Clark returned to St. Louis after exploring the Pacific Northwest. In 1846, Johann Galle, Jean LeVerrier and John Couch discovered Neptune. In 1930, flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. In 1957, the Little Rock 9 withdrew from Little Rock High as they were besieged by a dangerous and brainless white mob outside the school. The next day, Eisenhower sent in heavily armed US troops, who remained throughout the school year, as did the 9 students, albeit bullied and sickeningly beaten. In 1962, “The Jetsons” premiered on ABC as the first ABC program in color. In 1964, Chagall’s ceiling painting at the Paris Opera house was unveiled. In 1969, the London Daily mirror reported Paul McCartney was dead (fake news). In 1980, Bob Marley performed his last show. Happy Birthday, Victoria Chaflin Woodhull (first woman to run for President), Louise Nevelson, John Coltrane, Ray Charles, Bruce Springsteen. It’s Kyrgyz Language Day. Mission: Күнүңүз жакшы өтсүн! And rock on.
Sep 16, 2017
September 16. In1620, the Mayflower left Plymouth, England, for Provincetown, MA, with 102 passengers. In 1630, the village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. In 1814, Francis Scott Key completed “The Star-Spangled Banner.” In 1959, the first photocopier, the Xerox 914, was demonstrated on live TV. In 1963, “The Outer Limits” premiered on ABC. In 1964, “Shindig” premiered on ABC. In 1970, Jimi Hendrix made his final public appearance in London. In 1974, President Ford announced an amnesty program for Vietnam War draft evaders. In 1976, the Episcopal Church approved women as priests and bishops. In 1992, Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega was given a 40-year sentence for drug trafficking and money laundering. Happy Birthday, Anna Kingsford, Jean Arp, BB King, Betty Kelly (Martha and the Vandellas), Henry Louis Gates, Jr. It’s International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer and National Guacamole Day. Mission: Dance in the streets. Kiss the sky.
Sep 9, 2017
September 9. In 490 BC, the Battle of Marathon between the Persians and the Athenians took place--the marathon race was derived from this (RUN LIKE HELL!). In 1776, it was decided that the “United States” would replace the “United Colonies.” In 1836, Lincoln got his law degree. In 1850, California joined the union. In 1940, George Stibitz pioneered the first remote operation of a computer. In 1942, Japan dropped bombs in an attempt to set fire to Oregon and Washington, but the fires did not ignite (Hmmm—call that kid?). In 1948, North Korea became the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea (hahahaha). In 1956, Elvis made his first appearance on Ed Sullivan’s “Toast of the Town.” He was shot from only the waist up. In 1969, Hendrix made his TV debut on the “The Dick Cavett Show.” In 1997, Sinn Fein (IRA’s ally) formally renounced violence. Happy Birthday, Leo Tolstoy, Topol, Otis Redding, Inez Foxx, Dee Dee Sharp. It’s Steak Au Poivre Day and Wienerschnitzel Day. Mission: Renounce violence. (Eat a little meat?)
Sep 2, 2017
September 2. In 1649, the Italian city of Castro was completely destroyed by the forces of Pope Innocent (?!#$%?) X. In 1666, the Great Fire of London broke out and burned for 3 days, destroying 10,000 buildings. In 1775, the “Hannah,” first American war vessel, was commissioned by General George Washington. In 1792, during the French Revolution, mobs slaughtered 3 Roman Catholic bishops and more than 200 priests believed to be royalist sympathizers. In 1945, Japan surrendered to the US aboard the USS Missouri, ending WW2, which lasted 6 years and 1 day. On the same day, Vietnam declared its independence. In 1963, Alabama Governor George “StupidAss” Wallace sent in state troopers to prevent the integration of Tuskegee High School. On the same day, the “CBS Evening News” went from 15 to 30 minutes. In 1969, “Star Trek” was cancelled. In 1985, a French/American expedition found the “Titanic,” missing for 73 years. Happy Birthday, Lucretia Hale, Cleveland Amory, Horace Silver, Rosalind Ashford, Christa McAuliffe. Mission: Keep looking.
Aug 26, 2017
Saturday Morning Post. August 26. In 1498, Michelangelo was commissioned to carve the Pieta. In 1791, John Fitch patented the steamboat. In 1920, women were given the right to vote by the passage of the 19th amendment. In 1947, Don Bankhead became the first Black major league pitcher. In 1957, the first Edsel rolled off the Ford assembly line. In 1970, the Women’s Strike for Equality was held across America. In 1973, a US Presidential Proclamation declared August 26 Women’s Equality Day. In 1987, Fuller Brush Co opened its first retail store in Dallas. In 2009, Jaycee Dugard was discovered alive after missing for 18 years. Happy Birthday, Zona Gale, Eleanor Dark, Katherine Johnson, Geraldine Ferraro, Melissa McCarthy. It’s Women’s Equality Day. (And tomorrow is Go Topless Day.) Mission: Get rid of these idiotic bullies! NOW! Full steam ahead.
Aug 19, 2017
Saturday Morning Post. August 19. In 295 BC, the first temple to Venus, goddess of love, beauty and fertility, was dedicated in Rome. In 1848, gold was discovered in California and announced in the New York Herald. In 1856, Gail Borden patented a process of condensing milk by vacuum. In 1934, Adolf Hitler was given sole executive power in Germany and proclaimed Fuehrer. On that same day, the first All-American Soap Box Derby was held in Dayton. In 1944, Paris rose up against German occupation with the help of the Allies. In 1960, the Soviet Union launched two dogs, 40 mice, 2 rats and a variety of plants into space. In 1964, the Beatles began their first American tour in San Francisco. In 1991, Mikhail Gorbachev was placed under house arrest while on holiday. (Hmmm) Happy Birthday, Bernard Baruch, Coco Chanel, Ogden Nash, Renee Richards, Ginger Baker. It is World Humanitarian Day. Mission: Condense humanely.
Aug 12, 2017
August 12. In 1865, disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery. In 1867, President Andrew Johnson sparked a move to impeach him when he suspended Secretary of War Edwin Stanton in defiance of Congress. In 1877, Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the first sound recording. In 1883, the last quagga died in Amsterdam. In 1898, the Spanish-American War ended. America acquired Guam. In 1939, “The Wizard of Oz” premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. In 1950, North Korean troops massacred 75 Americans POWs in the Bloody Gulch Massacre. In 1964, Mickey Mantle set a major league record when he hit home runs from both sides of the plate in the same game. And South Africa was banned from the Olympics due to their racist policies. In 1966, John Lennon apologized for saying “the Beatles are more popular than Jesus.” In 1998, Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion to Holocaust victims for restitution. Happy Birthday, Helena Blavatsky, Katharine Lee Bates, Zerna Addis Sharp, Walter Dean Myers. Mission: Mend.
Aug 5, 2017
August 5. In 1620, the Mayflower departed from Southampton, England, on its first attempt to reach North America. In 1861, the federal government levied its first income tax—3% of all incomes over $800. On this same date, the US Army abolished flogging. In 1884, the cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty was laid. In 1921, the first cartoon to win a Pulitzer Prize (“On the Road to Moscow”) was published. In 1925, Houdini spent 91 minutes underwater in a sealed tank before escaping. In 1957, “American Bandstand” debuted on ABC. In 1962, Nelson Mandela began his 28-year prison term. In 1974, Nixon ordered the investigation into Watergate halted, but said he expected to be impeached. Happy Birthday, Guy du Maupassant, Mary Ritter Beard, Betty Oliphant, Wendell Berry, Jesse Williams. Mission: If you are going to flog, flog those who deserve it. If you need help with that, I’ve got some suggestions.
Jul 29, 2017
July 29. In 587 BC, the Neo-Babylonians sacked Jerusalem and destroyed the First Temple. In 1773, the first schoolhouse west of the Allegheny Mountains was built in Ohio. In 1874, lawn tennis was patented. In 1914, the first cross-country phone call was made between San Francisco and New York. In 1966, Bob Dylan was seriously injured when he crashed his motorcycle. In 2005, Xena, a planet larger than Pluto, was discovered orbiting the sun. Happy Birthday, Isabel, Princess Imperial of Brazil (“The Redemptress,” who freed all Brazilian slaves in 1888), Clara Bow, Theda Bara, Dag Hammarskjold, Stanley Kunitz, Melvin Belli. It’s International Tiger Day. Mission: Move quietly and with utter grace.
Jul 22, 2017
July 22. In 1376, the Pied Piper of Hamelin led the rats out of Hamelin. In 1893, Katharine Lee Bates wrote “America the Beautiful” inspired by the view from Pikes Peak, CO. In 1926, Babe Ruth caught a baseball dropped from an airplane at 250 feet. In 1933, Caterina Jarboro became the first Black prima donna of US opera history, singing “Aida” at the Met. In 1979, Little Richard, then a reverend, warned against the evils of rock & roll in a California revival meeting. In 2000, astronomers found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter. In 2009, the longest total solar eclipse (6 minutes/38.8 secs) of the 21st century occurred over Asia and the Pacific. Happy Birthday, Emma Lazarus, Edward Hopper, Stephen Vincent Benet, Tom Robbins, Albert Brooks, Rufus Wainwright. It’s Ratcatcher’s Day. Mission: You know who they are so GET ‘EM OUT OF HERE.
Jul 15, 2017
July 15. In 70, Titus breached the walls of Jerusalem. In 1410, the Poles and Lithuanians (my people!) defeated the Teutonic knights at Tannenburg. In 1834, the Spanish Inquisition was officially disbanded after 356 years. In 1838, Ralph Waldo Emerson discounted the divinity of Jesus, declaring him a great man but not God, in a speech at Harvard Divinity School. The Protestant community was outraged. In 1901, 74,000 steel workers in Pittsburgh went on strike. In 1910, Alzheimer’s disease was named after Alois Alzheimer. In 1922, the duck-billed platypus arrived in America (Bronx Zoo). In 1972, NASA’s Pioneer 10 became the first spacecraft to enter the asteroid belt. In 2006, Twitter was launched. Happy Birthday, Rembrandt, Emmeline Pankhurst, Iris Murdoch, Vivian Malone Jones, Linda Ronstadt. It’s Elderly Men Day. Mission: Save your outrage for the outrageous. Honor our old men.
Jul 8, 2017
July 8. In 1099, 15,000 starving Christian soldiers began the siege of Jerusalem by marching in a religious procession around the city as its Muslim defenders watched. In 1776, Col. John Nixon gave the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia. In 1865, the machine gun was patented. In 1889, John Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain in the last championship bare-knuckle fight (75 rounds). In 1969, Twister was patented. In 1932, the Dow Jones Industrial Average bottomed out at 41.22. In 1962, Ne Win besieged and dynamited the Rangoon University Student Union to crush the Burmese Student Movement. In 1969, Marianne Faithfull took an overdose of barbiturates on the set of “Ned Kelly.” Happy Birthday, Kathe Kollwitz, Billy Eckstine, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Raffi, Angelica Huston, Beck. Mission: Don’t use religion as a weapon. Biggest hypocrisy of all. (Also, please leave it out of American government.)
Jul 1, 2017
July 1. In 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg began. In 1874, the first American zoo opened in Philadelphia (“Zookeeper’s Wife” is excellent, by the way. Saw last night.). In 1881, the first international telephone call was made between New Brunswick, Canada, and Maine. In 1909, Thomas Edison began manufacturing “A” alkaline storage batteries. In 1941, Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial. In 1946, the US exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll. In 1963, zip codes (Zoning Improvement Plan) were introduced. In 1979, Sony introduced the Walkman. Happy Birthday, George Sand (Amandine Aurore Lucile Dudevant), Estee Lauder, Twyla Tharp, Debby Harry, Missy Elliott. Mission: Hello? Ban the bomb.
Jun 24, 2017
June 24. In 1374, a sudden outbreak of St. John’s Dance caused Germans to hallucinate and jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapsed in Aachen. In 1664, New Jersey was founded. In 1812, Napoleon invaded Russia. In 1869, Mary Ellen “Mammy” Pleasant officially became the Voodoo Queen in San Francisco. In 1916, Mary Pickford became the first female film star to sign a million-dollar contract. In 1938, a 450-metric ton meteorite exploded and landed near Chicora, PA. In 1964, the FTC required cigarette manufacturers to include health warnings on their packaging. In 1982, the Supreme Court ruled no President could be sued for damages while serving as President. (Why not? We’ve got a case.) In 1997, the US Air Force declared the alien spacecraft crash in Roswell, NM, in 1947 was fake. In 2012, Lonesome George, the last known Chelonoidis nigra abingdonii (Galapagos tortoise) died. Happy Birthday, Ruth Randall Edstrom, Harry Partch, John Ciardi, Robert Reich, Hope Sandoval (Mazzy Star). Mission: Look up. Then dance.
Jun 17, 2017
June 17. In 1244, 24 carriage loads of the Jewish Talmud were burned in Paris ordered by Christian theologians. In 1631, Mumtaz Mahal died during childbirth and her husband, the emperor Shah Jahan I, spent the next 17 years building her mausoleum, the Taj Mahal. In 1876, 1500 Sioux and Cheyenne led by Crazy Horse beat back General Crook’s forces at Rosebud Creek in Montana Territory. In 1885, the Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard the French ship “Isere.” In 1950, the first kidney transplant was performed in Chicago. In 1963, the Supreme Court banned the required reading of the Lord’s Prayer in public schools. In 1972, five White House operatives were arrested for burgling the DNC offices. In 1987, the dusky seaside sparrow became extinct. In 1994, OJ Simpson was arrested for murder. In 2015, nine people were killed at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston SC by a White terrorist. In 2017, America continued to do absolutely nothing about guns except act like a baby. Happy Birthday, Igor Stravinsky, MC Escher, Ruth Graves Wakefield (the creator of the chocolate chip cookie) John Hersey, Venus Williams. Mission: Stop it!
Jun 10, 2017
June 10. In 1902, the see-through envelope was patented. In 1903, Crayola wax crayons were developed. In 1920, the Republican convention endorsed women’s suffrage. In 1935, AA was founded in Akron. In 1943, the ballpoint pen was patented. In 1947, the first Saab rolled into existence. In 1964, the US Senate ended a 75-day filibuster against the Civil Rights Act. In 1966, Janis Joplin debuted at San Francisco’s Avalon ballroom. In 1967, Israel and Syria agreed to o a cease-fire in the Six-Day War. In 1991, Jaycee Lee Dugard was kidnapped in South Lake Tahoe, remaining captive for 18 years. Happy Birthday, Gustave Courbet, Joao Gilberto, Saul Bellow, Judy Garland, Maurice Sendak. Mission: See through.
Jun 3, 2017
June 3. In 1098, Christian Crusaders (is this not an oxymoron?) seized Antioch, Turkey. In 1856, Cullen Whipple patented the screw machine (uhh, now known as the Trump administration). In 1889, the first long-distance electric power transmission line in the US was completed from Willamette Falls to downtown Portland. In 1937, the Duke of Windsor married Wallis Warfield Simpson. In 1938, the German Reich voted to confiscate “degenerate art.” In 1943, US Navy sailors and Marines clashed with Los Angeles Latino youth in the Zoot Suit Riots. In 1965, Edward White became the first American to do a spacewalk, leaving the Gemini 4 capsule. In 1970, Har Gobind Khorana and colleagues announce the first synthesis of a gene from chemical components. In 1989, government troops in China forced protestors from Tiananmen Square after a 7-week occupation. Happy Birthday, Raoul Dufy, Josephine Baker, Allen Ginsberg, Suzy Quatro, Rafael Nadal. It’s Opium Suppression Movement Day and World Clubfoot Day. Mission: Put the opium pipe down! Make some degenerate art instead.
May 27, 2017
May 27. In 1647, America executed its first so-called witch, Alice Young. In 1668, three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. In 1907, the Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. In 1941, the Bismarck was sunk, killing 2100 German soldiers. In 1964, 11 boys were suspended in Coventry England for having hair like Mick Jagger. Happy Birthday, Amelia Bloomer, Isadora Duncan, Rachel Carson, Siouxsie Sioux, Left Eye. It’s Slavery Abolition Day and the beginning of National Reconciliation Week. Mission: Don’t wear a neck scarf while riding in a convertible. And watch the new Rachel Carson documentary on “American Experience.”
May 20, 2017
May 6. In 1527, Spanish and German troops sacked Rome, signaling the end of the Renaissance. In 1840, the first adhesive postage stamp went on sale in Great Britain. In 1877, Chief Crazy Horse surrendered in Nebraska. In 1915, Babe Ruth hit his first major league home run. In 1937, the Hindenburg crashed and burned in New Jersey. In 1954, Roger Banister broke the four-minute mile. In 1960, Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960, which attempted to ensure justice in voter registration procedures. Happy Birthday, Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles, Sonia Rykiel, Willie Mays, Angela Hernandez Nunez. It’s International No Diet Day. Mission: Eat well, no limits. You need strength for the new Renaissance. Oh, and what about those voter registration laws???
May 20. In 1506, Christopher Columbus died a pauper. In 1609, Shakespeare’s sonnets were first published. In 1830, the fountain pen was patented. In 1873, Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets. In 1930, the first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible. In 1932, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic. In 1940, the first “campers” arrived at Auschwitz. In 1941, Germany invaded Crete. In 1961, a white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery. In 1978, Mavis Hutchinson (53) became the first woman to run across America. In 1989, Gilda Radner died. Happy Birthday, Honoré de Balzac, Henri Rousseau, Joe Cocker, Cher. It’s Josephine Baker Day and National Awakening Day in Indonesia. Mission: Dress up and dance for national awakening.