Nov 24, 2018
Saturday Morning Post. November 24. In 1859, Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species, explaining his theory of evolution through natural selection. In 1871, the misguided National Rifle Association was incorporated. In 1877, Anna Sewell's animal welfare novel Black Beauty was published. In 1940, Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw. Over the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to concentration camps. In 1947, during another period of American embarrassment and utter bullshit, the "Hollywood 10" were cited for contempt of Congress for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist influence in their industry. In 1963, Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey Oswald live on national television (as we were just leaving for Sunday school). In 1971, DB Cooper parachuted from a Northwest Orient Airlines plane with $200,000 of ransom money never to be seen again. In 1989, Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned after more than a week of protests against its policies. In 1991, Freddie Mercury died of AIDS complications at the age of 45. Happy Birthday, Frances Hodgson Burnett, Scott Joplin, Margaret C. Anderson, Esther Applin, Arundhati Roy. It's Evolution Day. Mission: Come on. Let's evolve past this point. Let's get them to resign.
Nov 17, 2018
November 17. In 1603, Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. In 1800, Congress held its first session in DC. In 1871, the NRA was granted a charter by New York. In 1880, the first 3 British women graduated from London University. In 1913, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the army from dancing the tango. In 1947, the Screen Actors Guild implemented an anti-Communist loyalty oath. In 1968, NBC cut away from the final minutes of a Jets/Raiders game to begin "Heidi." (Raiders came from behind and won.) In 1970, the Soviet Union landed a vehicle on the moon and Lieutenant William Calley went on trial for the My Lai Massacre. In 1973, Nixon told the Associated Press, "Well, I'm not a crook." In 1988, Benazir Bhutto became the first female leader of an Islamic country (Pakistan). In 2010, researchers trapped anti-matter for the first time. Happy Birthday, Grace Abbott, Ruth Bari, Lesley Julia Abdela, Yolanda King, Rebecca Walker. It's Struggle for Freedom and Democracy Day in Slovakia and the Czech Republic. Mission: Struggle for freedom and democracy. Out the treasonous. Out the crooks.Then lock them up.
Nov 10, 2018
November 10. In 1865, Major Henry Wirz, the superintendent of a prison camp in Georgia, was hanged for war crimes during the Civil War (one of three executed). In 1898, the Wilmington Insurrection of 1898 began--the only instance of a city government being overthrown in US history. In 1917, 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. In 1951, direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began. In 1969, "Sesame Street" debuted. In 1970, for the first time in 5 years, no reports of American combat fatalities in Southeast Asia were reported. In 1975, the Edmund Fitzgerald and its crew of 29 vanished during a storm on Lake Superior. In 1976, the Utah Supreme Court approved Gary Gilmore's execution. In 1982, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial opened to visitors in Washington, DC. In 1983, Windows 1.0 was released. In 1995, playwright/activist Ken Saro-Wiwa and 8 others from the Movement for the Survivial of the Ogoni People were hanged by Nigerian government forces. In 2004, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) was awarded the "Man for Peace" prize at the opening of the Nobel Peace Prize laureates. Happy Birthday, Idabelle Smith Firestone, Kate Seredy, Noemi Gerstein, Ann Reinking, Holly Black. Mission: Continue to work for democracy by ousting these entitled white bullies who think they are above the law of the land.
Nov 3, 2018
Saturday Morning Post. November 3. In 1507, Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by Lisa Gherardini to paint her portrait, which became the Mona Lisa. In 1631, the Rev John Eliot arrived at the Massachusetts Bay Colony to convert Native Americans to Christianity. In 1793, French playwright, journalist and feminist Olympe de Gouge was guillotined. In 1900, the first car show opened at Madison Square Garden. In 1952, frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time. In 1992, Carol Moseley-Braun became the first African-American woman senator. Happy Birthday, Lois Mailou Jones, Annapurna Maharana, Mazie Hirono, Lulu, Jeanette J. Epps. It's Culture Day in Japan, Independence Day in Panama, Dominica, Micronesia, Ecuador and Victory Day in Maldives. Mission: Oh, PLEASE release us. Let Tuesday be the beginning of our independence from Mendacity, Idiocy, Greed, Corruption, Hatred and frightening and fucked-up Backwardness and Bullshit. Oh, PLEASE.
Oct 27, 2018
October 27. In 1659, William Robinson and Marmaduke Steveson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. (Yes, Quakers are very bad hombres.) In 1858, Roland Macy opened a department store. It was his 8th business venture after 7 fails. In 1925, water skis were patented. In 1938, DuPont announced "nylon" as the new name for its synthetic yarn. In 1967, Catholic priest Philip Berrigan and the "Baltimore Four" poured blood on Selective Service records to protest the Vietnam War. In 1973, a 1.4kg meteorite struck Canon City, CO. In 1998, Peggy Lee became mute from a serious stroke. Happy Birthday, Sigrid Hjerten, Lee Krasner, Sylvia Plath, Maxine Hong Kingston, Fran Lebowitz. It's Flag Day in Greece. Mission: Honor the American flag by voting out these traitorous, greedy, corrupt zombies. P.S. Don't put your head in the oven--no matter how bad it seems.
Oct 20, 2018
October 20. In 1774, the new Continental Congress passed an order "discouraging horse racing, gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions and entertainment." In 1944, Belgrade and Dubrovnik were liberated. In 1947, the misguided House Un-American Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist influence in the movie industry. In 1952, the Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. In 1955, Harry Belafonte recorded "The Banana Boat Song (Day-O)." In 1968, Jackie married Aristotle. In 1973, Nixon fired US Attorney General Richardson & Deputy Attorney General Ruckelshaus after they refused to fire Watergate special prosecutor Cox, who was finally fired by Robert Bork (known as the Saturday Night Massacre.) Happy Birthday, Isabelle de Charriere, Arthur Rimbaud, Enolia McMillan, Bobby Seale, Julie Payette. It's Revolution Day in Guatelmala, Heroes' Day in Kenya and Vietnamese Women's Day. Mission: VOTE TO SAVE AMERICA from the rising fascism, white supremacy, barbarism, constant lying, corruption, slime, greed, and utter zombie-ism of the current bullshit administration of cowards as if your life depended on it--because, of course, it does.
Oct 13, 2018
October 13. In 1582, because of the adoption of the Gregorian calendar, this day actually did not exist in Italy, Poland, Portugal or Spain. In 1908, Margaret Travers Symons burst into the UK Parliament and became the first woman to speak there. In 1953, an ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented. In 1962, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. Also in 1962, the Pacific Northwest experienced a cyclone equal to a Category 3 hurricane. Forty-six people died. In 1963, the Beatles appeared on the first major British TV show ("Sunday Night at the Palladium.") In 1970, Janis Joplin's ashes were scattered off the coast of California. In 2010, the 33 Chilean miners arrived at the surface after 69 days underground. Happy Birthday, Mary Kingsley, Lenny Bruce, Nana Mouskouri, Shirley Caesar, Paul Simon. It's International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction. Mission: Resist natural disasters. Vote the zombies OUT.
Oct 8, 2018
October 6. In 1880, the National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out of the league for selling BEER [fucking beer]. In 1889, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the public for the first time. In 1890, the Mormons outlawed polygamy. In 1939, Adolf Hitler denied any intention of going to war against Britain or France (another lying monster). In 1961, President Kennedy advised Americans to build bomb shelters for protection against the bomb-crazy Soviet Union. In 1969, George Harrison finally got the A side of a Beatles '45 with "Something." In 1980, Johnny Rotten was arrested in Dublin during a pub fight. In 1991, Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky at Michael Jackson's. It was her 8th marriage. In 1995, the first planet orbiting another sun (51 Pegasi b [crappy name] was discovered. In 2018, Gina got married & Ophelia turned 1. Happy Birthday, Caroline Gordon, Florence Seibert, Vivion Brewer, Helen Willis Moody--and Ophelia, of course. It's World Space Week. Mission: STOP THIS SHIT!
Sep 29, 2018
September 29. In 1789, the first regular army was established in the US War Dept. In 1923, the First American Track and Field Championships for women was held. In 1960, "My Three Sons" debuted. In 1962, President Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi National Guard in response to city officials defying federal court orders to enroll James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. In 1977, Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight title boxing match between Ali and Shavers. In 1984, Elizabeth Taylor was voted the world's most beautiful woman. In 1994, the US House voted to end allowing lobbyists to buy meals and entertainment for members of Congress. In 2004, the asteroid 4179 Toutatis passed within four lunar distances of Earth. Happy Birthday, Diana Vreeland, Michelangelo Antonioni, Barbara Mertz, Madeline Kahn, Maureen Caird. It's World Heart Day and Inventors' Day. Mission: "The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain." So far, so good. Their brains seem to be in shit shape already. Not far to go. Smash the patriarchy.
Sep 22, 2018
September 22. In 1692, the last hanging of convicted "witches" occurred in the Salem witchcraft absurdities. In 1862, President LIncoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation, stating all slaves would be free 1/1/63. In 1888, the first issue of National Geographic was published. In 1903, Italo Marchiony patented the ice cream cone. In 1941 on Rosh Hashona, 6000 Jews in Vinnytsia, Ukraine, were murdered by the German SS a few days after 24,000 Jews were executed in the same place. In 1949, the Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb. In 1961, JFK established the Peace Corps. In 1962, Bob Dylan made his first appearance at Carnegie Hall. In 1969, Willie Mays hit his 600th home run. In 1972, David Bowie began his first US tour. Happy Birthday, Lillian Chestney, Rosamunde Pilcher, Fay Weldon, Joan Jett, Tai Babilonia. It's Resistance Fighting Day in Estonia. Mission: Hang GOP zombies, not witches. Resist this patriarchical bullshit.
Sep 15, 2018
September 15. In 1776, the British occupied New York City. In 1821, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and El Salvador proclaimed independence. In 1858, the first mail service to the Pacific Coast began. In 1923, Oklahoma was placed under martial law due to terrorist activity by the KKK. In 1928, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in mold. In 1935, the Nuremberg Laws were enacted, stripping German Jews of their civil rights and making the swastika the official symbol of Germany. In 1955, Betty Robbins became the first woman cantor. In 1963, the 16th Street Baptist Church was bombed in Birmingham, killing four children. In 1967, LBJ wrote Congress urging gun control legislation after the University of Texas sniper attack. In 1982, Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female Supreme Court Justice. In 1997, google.com was registered. Happy Birthday, Agatha Christie, Jean Renoir, Cannonball Adderly, Jessye Norman, Prince Harry. It's International Day of Democracy. Mission: Resist the destruction of democracy in America by a demagogue and his wusses.
Sep 8, 2018
September 8. In 1664, the Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, who then renamed it New York. In 1866, the first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in Chicago. In 1945, Bess Myerson became the first Jewish woman crowned Miss America. In 1966, the first "Star Trek" was broadcast. In 1974, President Ford pardoned President Nixon. Happy Birthday, Antonin Dvorak, Sid Caesar, Patsy Cline, Ann Beattie, Aimee Mann. It's World Physical Therapy Day. Mission: Ummmm. Don't even think about it (see fact #5).
Sep 1, 2018
In 1878, Emma M. Nutt became the first female telephone operator in America. In 1887, Emile Berliner patented the device that became the record player, perfected later by Thomas Edison. In 1939, Germany invaded Poland, thereby starting World War II in Europe. The same day, Hitler signed an order beginning the systematic euthanasia of the mentally ill and disabled. In 1945, Japan surrendered, ending World War II. In 1956, Elvis bought his mother a pink Cadillac. In 1985, the wreckage of the Titanic was found 453 miles off the Newfoundland coast. In 1995, Louis Armstrong was honored on a US postage stamp. In 1997, prosecutors announced the driver of Princess Diana's fatal car was legally drunk. In 1998, the first Harry Potter book was released in America. Happy Birthday, Liz Carpenter, Soshana Afroyim, Ann Richards, Lily Tomlin, Gloria Estefan. It's Knowledge Day in Russia and Random Acts of Kindness Day across the globe. Mission: Think and act kindly.
August 4. In 1693, Dom Perignon perfected sparkling wine and is considered the inventor of champagne. In 1735, freedom of the press was established with the acquittal of John Zenger, a writer for the New York Weekly Journal, who had been charged with seditious libel. The jury said "Truth is not libelous." In 1922, Alexander Graham Bell died and AT&T and Bell Systems shut down their switchboards and all 13 million phones to honor him. In 1944, the Frank family was discovered by the Nazis and sent off to Auschwitz. A month later, Anne and her sister were sent to Bergen-Belsen, where they both died of typhus. Soon after, Bergen-Belsen was liberated. In 1957, Florence Chadwick set a world record, swimming the English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. In 1966, most US radio stations banned all Beatles records in response to John saying they were more popular than Jesus. In 1987, the William Faulkner stamp went on sale in Oxford, MS, where Faulkner had been fired as postmaster in 1924. Happy Birthday, Percy Shelley, the Queen Mother (Elizabeth), Louis Armstrong, Mary Decker, Barack Obama. It's Revolution Day in Burkina Faso. Mission: Act Burkinabe.
Aug 25, 2018
August 25. In 1609, Galileo Galilei demonstrated his first telescope. In 1814, the US Library of Congress was destroyed by the British. In 1875, Captain Matthew Webb became the first person to swim the English Channel. In 1920, Ethelda Bleibtrey became the first woman to win an Olympic medal (100m freestyle). In 1921, US signed a peace treaty w/Germany. In 1939, the "Wizard of Oz" opened across America. In 1944, Paris was liberated by the Allies. In 1967, George Lincoln Rockwell, founder of the American Nazi Party, was assassinated by a former member of the group. In 1970, Elton John made his first live performance in the US. In 2001, Aaliyah was killed when her plane crashed in the Bahamas. Happy Birthday, Bret Harte, Ruby Keeler, Dorothea Tanning, Leonard Bernstein, Althea Gibson. It's Liberation Day in France and Independence Day in Uruguay. MIssion: Liberate America from this ostentatious corruption.
Aug 18, 2018
August 18. In 1840, the American Society of Dental Surgeons was founded. In 1868, helium was discovered. In 1919, the Anti-Cigarette League of America was founded. In 1920, the 19th amendment was ratified, guaranteeing women the right to vote. In 1962, Ringo Starr first appeared with the Beatles. In 1963, James Meredith became the first Black man to graduate from the University of Mississippi. In 1977, Elvis Presley was buried.Happy Birthday, Virginia Dare, Merriwether Lewis, Nettie Palmer (Australian poet), Rosalynn Carter, Rafer Johnson. It's National Science Day in Thailand. Mission: Believe scientists, not spineless, unethical, thick-brained imbeciles who are shamelessly and ostentatiously greedy and corrupt.
Jul 28, 2018
July 28. In 1750, J.S. Bach died after an unsuccessful eye operation. In 1866, 18-year-old Vinnie Ream became the first and youngest female artist to receive a commission by the US government for a statue of Abe Lincoln. In 1868, the 14th Amendment was ratified establishing African-American citizenship and guaranteeing due process of law. In 1917, the Silent Parade took place in NYC protesting murders, lynchings and other violence directed towards African-Americans. In 1939, Judy Garland recorded "Over the Rainbow." In 1945, a US Army bomber crashed into the Empire State Building, killing 14. In 1982, San Francisco banned handguns. In 1987, the Beatles sued Nike for using "Revolution" in its shoe commercials. In 1996, the remains of a prehistoric man were discovered in Kennewick, WA. . In 1998, Monica Lewinsky received immunity to testify before a grand jury about her relationship with President Clinton. (Remember when the legislature actually took action when Presidents committed crimes?) Happy Birthday, Beatrix Potter, Lucy Burns, Jacqueline Kennedy, Natalie Babbitt, Fahmida Riaz. It's Liberation Day in San Marino. Mission: Shout at the parade. Silence is complicity.
Jul 21, 2018
July 21. In 1865, in the first western showdown, Wild Bill Hickok shot Davis Tutt in Missouri. In 1873, Jesse James and the James-Younger Gang pulled off the first successful train robbery in Iowa. In 1925, John Scopes was found guilty of teaching evolution in Tennessee and fined $100 (Ah, that pesky science). Happy Birthday, Hart Crane, Ernest Hemingway, Isaac Stern, Garry Trudeau, Robin Williams. It's Liberation Day in Guam and Racial Harmony Day in Singapore. Mission: Do what you have to do. P.S. A reminder: Science NOT a liberal conspiracy.
Jul 14, 2018
July 14. In 1789, the citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille sparking the French Revolution and the overturning of the French monarchy. (Quelle bonne idee!) In 1868, the tape measure was patented. In 1881, Pat Garrett shot and killed Billy the Kid. In 1933, all German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. In 1943, the George Washington Carver National Monument in Diamond, Missouri, opened, becoming the first national monument honoring an African American. In 1960, Jane Goodall arrived in Tanzania to begin her legendary chimpanzee study. Happy Birthday, Kate Gordon, Gustav Klimt, Woody Guthrie, Ingmar Bergman, Polly Bergen. It's Bastille Day! Mission: This land is OUR land--not his. Storm the failing White House.
Jul 7, 2018
July 7. In 1456, Joan of Arc was acquitted of heresy 25 years after her death. In 1863, the US began its first military draft--exemptions cost $300. In 1911, the US, Great Britain, Japan and Russia banned open-water seal hunting (no doubt, the current administration has reversed this). In 1928, sliced bread was sold for the first time in Missouri. In 1946, Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the first American saint. In 1954, Memphis DJ Dewey Phillips became the first DJ to play Elvis ("That's All Right"). In 1967, the Monkees started a national tour with Jimi Hendrix as their opening act. In 1981, President Reagan nominated the first female Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor. In 1985, Boris Becker won Wimbledon at 17. In 1992, the New York Court of Appeals ruled women had the same right as men to go topless in public. In 1994, Amazon.com, Inc. was founded as "Cadabra." Happy Birthday, Nettie Stevens, Marc Chagall, Satchel Paige, Ringo Starr, Lisa Leslie. It's World Chocolate Day. Mission: Take it off. Then eat chocolate. Then smash the patriarchy.