Apr 4, 2020
April 4. In 1789, the first US Congress began regular sessions. In 1828, Casparus van Wooden patented chocolate milk powder. In 1841, President Harrison died of pneumonia, becoming the first President to die in office and setting the record for the briefest administration (if only--yes, I said it). In 1887, Susanna M. Salter became the first female American mayor in Argonia, Kansas. IIn 1896, gold was discovered in the Yukon. In 1917, the US Senate voted to enter World War I. In 1932, Vitamin C was first isolated. In 1958, the first march against nuclear weapons was held in Aldermaston, England. In 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr., was assassinated in Memphis. In 1969, Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first artificial heart. In 1972, the first electric power plant fueled by garbage began operation near St. Louis. In 1973, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were dedicated. In 1975, Microsoft was founded. On the same day, Steve Miller was arrested for burning his girlfriend's clothes. In 1981, Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American mayor in San Antonio. Happy Birthday, Dorothea Dix, Marguerite Duras, Maya Angelou, Edith Masai, Jill Scott. It's Children's Day in Hong Kong, Peace Day in Angola and Independence Day in Senegal. Mission: WE HAVE TO STOP THIS DEMONIC, MORONIC WASTREL FROM DESTROYING EVERYTHING . . . for the children, for America, for humanity. GET HIM OUT.
Apr 2, 2020
Saturday Morning Post. March 28. In 1797, the washing machine was patented. In 1865, outdoor advertising legislation was enacted, banning painting ads on stones, rocks and trees. [Has current administration deregulated this yet?] In 1871, the Paris Commune was formally established. In 1898, the US Supreme Court ruled a child born in the US to Chinese immigrants was a US citizen. In 1933, Nazis in Germany ordered a ban on all Jews in businesses, professions and schools. In 1938, Italian psychiatrists demonstrated electric-shock therapy for mental illness. In 1974, a streaker ran onto the set of "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson." In 1979, Three Mile Island had a meltdown. In 1986, over 6000 radio stations played "We are the World" at 10:15 EST. In 1995, Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett announced their separation. Happy Birthday, Angela Ruiz Robles, Isabel Cuchi Coll, Dianne Wiest, Salt, Lady Gaga. It's Serfs Emancipation Day. Mission: Free your serfs, wash this all away, then streak.
Mar 21, 2020
March 21. In 1349, 3000 Jews were killed in a Black Death riot in Germany, since, apparently, the Jews are to blame for just about everything. In 1788, most of New Orleans burned to the ground. In 1925, Tennessee enacted the Butler Act, making it a crime for a teacher to teach any theory other than the Bible's theory of creation. [No comment.] In 1943, Rudolf von Gersdorff's plot to assassinate Hitler by using a suicide bomb fell thrugh as the bom would not defuseIn 1963, Alcatraz closed. In 1966, demolition work began to clear 13 blocks for the construction of the World Trade Center. In 1972, the Supreme Court ruled states could NOT require one year of residency for voting eligibility. In 1976, Claudine Lingerie, I mean, Longet, shot Spider Sabich. In 1980, President Carter announced the US Olympic boycott due to Soviet intervention in Afghanistan. In 1980, JR Ewing was shot on "Dallas." In 1984, part of Central Park was renamed Strawberry Fields in honor of John Lennon. In 1986, Debi Thomas became the first African American woman to win the World FIgure Skating Championships. In 1999, Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones became the first to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon. In 2006, Twitter was founded. Happy Birthday, JS Bach, Alice Henry, Antonia Maury, Andrea Elle, Rose Stone. It's International Color Day, International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, National Tree Planting Day, World Poetry Day, World Puppetry Day and Youth Day. Mission: Celebrate color, justice, trees, poetry, puppets and youth, but mostly, be careful and stay well.
Mar 14, 2020
March 14.In 1794, Elli Whitney patented that dang cotton gin. In 1891, telephone wire was laid along the bottom of the English Channel to prepare for the first telephone link. In 1914, Henry Ford announced a new continuous motion car assembly that decreased the time to make a car from 12 hours to 93 minutes. In 1936, Adolf Hitler told a crowd of 300,000 that Germany's only judge was God and Germany. [This sounds like some familiar bullshit. Still wondering what happened to the separation of church and state.] In 1964, Jack Ruby was found guilty of murdering Lee Harvey Oswald. In 1967, JFK's body was moved to Arlington National Cemetery. In 1989, George HW Bush banned imported assault rifles. In 1998, an earthquake left 10,000 homeless in Iran. Happy Birthday, Lucy Hobbs Taylor, Emily Murphy, Albert Einstein, Sylvia Beach, Diane Arbus. It's Mother Tongue Day, Pi Day, Steak Day and Blowjob Day. Mission: Well, make a choice. It's mother tongue, math, steak or a blowjob. ENJOY THIS RARE SNOW DAY.
Mar 7, 2020
March 7. In 1854, the sewing machine was patented. In 1876, the telephone was patented. In 1906, Finland granted women the right to vote. In 1933, Monopoly was patented. In 1965, police brutally attacked 600 civil rights marchers in Selma. In 1967, Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin divorced. In 1971, 1000 US planes bombed Laos and Cambodia. In 1994, the US Supreme Court ruled parodies can be considered "fair use" that do not require permission from the copyright holder. In 2020, the POTUS lied and acted like a dick, putting American citizens at risk for yet another day. Happy Birthday, Ana Maria O'Neill, Dorothy de Rothschild, Maud Lewis, Wanda Sykes, Jaqueline Jesus. Mission: Eradicate mendacity. Remove slime.
Feb 29, 2020
February 29. Historically, it's a slow news day. [In America, it's a day to again realize the BLOAT in the White House doesn't give one shit about the American people. And I'm wondering if the virus was active at the SC rally yesterday.] In 1288, Scotland established this day as one when a woman could propose marriage to a man and if he refused, he was required to pay a fine. [Will you marry me? No? Message me. I'll send you my address. No bitcoin.] In 1940, Hattie McDaniel became the first African-American actor to win an Oscar. In 1916, the minimum working age for factory, mill and mine workers was raised from 12 to 14 in South Carolina. Happy Birthday, Emmeline B. Wells, Augusta Savage, Dinah Shore, Patricia A. McKillip, Claudia Williams. It's Rare Disease Day and Bachelors' Day. Mission: Resist this regime. PLEASE. Get rid of this disease--the virus, as well as the destructive BLOAT in the White House. [I try to be kind. Just can't seem to when it comes to heinous sinners against humanity. #ostentatiouscorruption #zombieapocalypse]
Feb 22, 2020
February 22. In 1630, popcorn was introduced to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving. In 1889, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana and Washington were admitted to the Union. In 1943, members of the White Rose resistance, Sophie Scholl, Hans Scholl and Chritoph Probst, were executed in Germany. In 1969, Barbara Jo Rubin became the first woman to win a US thoroughbred horse race. In 1974, Samuel Byck attempted to hijack a plan at Baltimore/Washington International Airport with the intention of crashing it into Richard Nixon at the White House, but he was killed by police. In 1997, Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut announced the cloning of an adult sheep Dolly. Happy Birthday, George Washington, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Constance Stokes, Joanna Russ, Claudia Pechstein. It's Crime Victims Day and World Thinking Day. Mission: Think, dammit. And apologize.
Feb 15, 2020
February 15. In 1758, mustard was advertised for the first time in America. In 1842, adhesive postage stamps were used for the first time in America. In 1879, President Hayes signed a bill allowing female attorney to argue cases before the US Supreme Court. In 1903, the teddy bear was introduced in America by Russian immigrants. In 1933, FDR survived an assassination attempt in Miami, which killed Chicago Mayor Anton Cermak. In 1953, Tenley Albright became the first American woman to win the world figure skating championships. In 1958, "The Dick Clark Show" debuted with Connie Francis, Pat Boone and Jerry Lee Lewis. In 1992, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to life in prison, but was killed by a fellow prisoner two years later. In 2001, the first draft of the complete human genome was published in NATURE. In 2013, an unexpected meteor exploded over Russia, injuring 1500. Happy Birthday, Mary S.B. Shindler, Susan B. Anthony, Miep Gies, Irena Sendler, Susan Brownmiller. It's Susan B. Anthony Day and Singles Awareness Day. Mission: VOTE YOUR ASS OFF.
Feb 8, 2020
February 8. In 1587, Mary Queen of Scots was executed on suspicion of having plotted to murder her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I. In 1802, the banjo clock was patented. In 1861, the Confederate States of America was formed. In 1865, Delaware refused to ratify the 13th Amendment, but slavery was indeed outlawed on December 6, 1865, when the amendment was ratified by a majority in Congress. In 1922, the White House began using radio. I 1942, Japan invaded Singapore. In 1952, Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the throne. In 1964, the publisher of "Louie Louie" offered $1000 to anyone who could find suggestive lyrics in the song. In 1967, Peter and Gordon split up. In 1996, the US Congress passed the Communications Decency Act in an attempt to regulate internet obscenity (this failed--in 2016, obscenity moved straight up to the White House). Happy Birthday, Kate Chopin, Adella Brown Bailey, Elizabeth Bishop, Marina Silva, Bethany Hamilton. It's Propose Day. Mission: I propose we stop this heinous POTUS. These are desperate times. And as longtime PSU professor and historian David Horowitz said yesterday, "This is no time for boutique politics." WE HAVE TO REMOVE THE CANCER . . . WELL, IT'S REALLY A TYPE OF DEMENTIA.
Feb 1, 2020
February 1. In 1788, the steamboat was patented. In 1790, the Supreme Court convened for the first time. In 1793, oiled silk was patented. In 1861, Texas seceded from the union. In 1865, President Lincoln signed the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery--except as a punishment for a crime (hmmm). In 1893, Thomas Edison (still dead) completed the first motion picture studio. In 1913, Grand Central Station opened in NYC. In 1919, the first Miss America was crowned. In 1930, the Times published its first crossword puzzle. In 1946, the Parliament of Hungary abolished the monarchy after 900 years (let's stop ours after 4, please). In 1951, the first atomic explosion was telecast. In 1960, four African-American students staged the first sit-in at a lunch counter in North Carolina. In 1964, "Louie Louie" was declared pornographic by the governor of Indiana. In 1963, a 17-year-old Neil Young performed his first professional gig. In 1979, Patty Hearst was released from prison after serving 22 months for bank robbery. In 1998, Lillian Fishburne became the first female African American rear admiral. In 2002, journalist Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and beheaded by al Qaeda.. Happy Birthday, Denise Robins, Muriel Spark, Langston Hughes, Mary Jane Reoch, Exene Cervenka. It's Memorial Day of the Republic in Hungary and National Freedom Day in America. Mission: Vote them all out. Oh, please, please, please.
Jan 25, 2020
January 25. In 1799, the seeding machine was patented. In 1870, the ornamental soda fountain was patented. In 1890, the United Miine Workers of America was founded. On the same day, the amazing Nellie Bly completed her round-the-world journey. She only brought one dress. In 1915, Alexander Graham Bell inaugurated the first transcontinental telephone service. In 1947, the first electronic game, the Cathode Ray Tube Amusement Device, was patented. In 1949, the first Emmys were presented. In 1961, JFK had the first live Presidential news conference. In 1964, Nike was founded. In 1971, the Charles Manson and his posse of stupid women were found guilty in the Tate-LaBianca murders, contrary to Tarantino's storyline, unfortunately. In 1980, Paul McCartney was released from a Tokyo jail after trying to carry a half pound of marijuana through customs. In 1999, the first hand transplant was performed. Happy Birthday, Anna Gardner, Virginia Woolf, Etta James, Gloria Naylor, Alicia Keys. It's National Nutrition Day and National Voters' Day. Mission: Discover something instead of walking into the river. Eat well. VOTE!!!!!!
Jan 18, 2020
January 18. In 575, 7-year-old Leo II became Byzantine emperor, but died 10 months later. In 1896, the x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time. In 1919, the WW1 Peace Congress opened in Versailles. In 1943, American bakers stopped selling sliced bread until the end of WW2. Also in 1943, Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto had their first uprising. In 1950, the federal tax on margarine was repealed. In 1965, Barbra Streisand and Bobby Darin sang for LBJ's inauguration. In 1981, Phil Smith and Phil Mayfield parachuted off a Houston skyscraper becoming the first 2 people to base jump from a building, antennae, bridge and cliff. In 1990, Chicago Mayor Marion Barry was arrested for drug possession. In 1993, the MLK holiday was observed in all 50 US states for the first time. Happy Birthday, Denise Bombardier, Amy Barger, Mary Jepkosgei Keitany, Angelique Kerber. It's the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. Mission: Act like a Christian if you call yourself one, dammit.
Jan 11, 2020
January 11. In 1770, the first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the US from London. In 1787, William Herschel discovered Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus. In 1861, Alabama seceded (hint). In 1878, milk was delivered in glass bottles for the first time. In 1908, Grand Canyon National Monument was created. In 1922, insulin was first used to treat a diabetic patient. In 1964, the US Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report saying cigarettes were a health hazard. In 1964, "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash became the first country album to top the pop chart. In 1968, Jimi Hendrix moved into the London townhouse where George F Handel had composed "Water Music" and "Messiah." In 1980, Nigel Short, age 14, became the youngest International master in the history of chess. Happy Birthday, Alice Paul, Ellinor Aiki, Eva Le Gallienne, Eva Hesse, Mary J. Blige. It's National Human Trafficking Awareness Day and Children's Day in Tunisia. Mission: Vote out the anuses, charge them with their crimes, lock them up, then make a rhubarb pie.
Jan 4, 2020
January 4. (Kind of a snoozer.) In 1762, Great Britain declared war on Spain, entering the Seven Years War. In 1948, Burma gained its independence from the United Kingdom. In 1953, tufted plastic carpeting was introduced. In 1958, Sputknik I fell to earth after 15 months in orbit. In 1974, Nixon refused to hand over tape recordings and documents subpoenaed by the Senate Watergate Committee. In 2007, Nancy Pelosi became the first female Speaker of the House. Happy Birthday, Barbara Rush, Marie-Thérèse Letablier, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Ann Magnuson, Susan DeVoy. It's Day of the Fallen against Colonial Repression, Day of the Martyrs, World Braille Day. Mission: Fell these disgusting, lying, idiotic, corrupt, greedy, dangerous, traitorous repressors.
Dec 21, 2019
December 21. In 1620, the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock. In 1898, the Curies discovered radium. In 1913, the first crossword puzzle was published. In 1919, Emma Goldman was deported to Russia. In 1937, Disney debuted the first full-length animated feature, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." In 1968, Crosby Stills and Nash performed together in public for the first time. In 1969, Diana Ross gave her last TV performance as a member of the Supremes on "The Ed Sullivan Show." In 1988, 270 were killed in the Lockerbie disaster when a bomb exploded on a Boeing 747. In 1995, Bethlehem passed from Israeli to Palestinian control. In 1996, House Speaker and human newt, Newt Gingrich, admitted to violating House ethics rules. In 2019, Americans waited impatiently for ethics to matter again. Happy Birthday, Henrietta Szold, Rebecca West, Jane Fonda, Chris Evert, Florence Griffith Joyner. It's Forefathers' Day. Mission: Paint and bejewel your nails resistance colors.
Dec 14, 2019
December 14. In 1503, Nostradamus was born in St. Remy, France. In 1799, George Washington died. In 1901, the first table tennis tournament was held at the London Royal Aquarium. In 1918, British women over 30 voted in a general election for the first time. In 1940, plutonium was isolated in Berkeley, CA. In 1945, Josef Kramer, the "Beast of Belsen," and 10 other Nazi monsters were executed in Hamelin for war crimes. In 1948, a patent was granted for the cathode-ray tube amusement device, the first interactive electronic game. In 1962, Bob Dylan's first single "Mixed-Up Confusion" was released. In 1980, Yoko Ono called for a 10-minute silent vigil for John Lennon, who had been shot on the 8th. One hundred thousand showed up at Central Park. In 1985, Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major American Indian tribe as principal chief of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma. In 2012, the Sandy Hook massacre occurred, killing 28, 20 of them children. Happy Birthday, Margaret Chase Smith, Virginia Coffey, Shirley Jackson, Ellen Jane Willis, Patty Duke. It's Martyred Intellectuals Day and Monkey Day. Mission: Resist the GOP destruction of democracy in America. They are committing crimes against humanity.
Dec 7, 2019
December 7. In 1787, Delaware became the first state to ratify the US Constitution (Remember that old thing?). In 1869, Jesse James robbed his first bank in Missouri. In 1932, Albert Einstein was granted an American visa. In 1941, Pearl Harbor was attacked by 200 Japanese warplanes and US entered WW2 . In 1963, Instant Replay debuted during the Army-Navy football game. In 1972, Apollo 17 was launched--the last US moon mission. In 1987, 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a Southwest Airlines jet. In 1993, 6 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a Long Island Railroad commuter train. That same day it was revealed that the US had secretly conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in Nevada. And also on that day, Guns N' Roses announced they would keep Charles Manson's song "Look At Your Game, Girl" on their album when they learned the royalties would go to the son of one of Manson's victims. In 1995, the Galileo arrived at Jupiter after a six-year flight. In 2017, same-sex marriage was legalized in Australia. Happy Birthday, Willa Cather, Akiko Yosano, Ellen Burstyn, Melba Pattillo Beals, Anne Fine. It's Day of the Little Candles and National Heroes Day. Mission: Stop this! Be a hero and stop this!
Nov 30, 2019
November 30. In 1782, the US and Britain signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. In 1786, the Grand Duchy of Tuscany became the first modern state to abolish the death penalty. In 1858, the pepper shaker with a screw-on top was patented. In 1897, Edison's motion picture projector had its first commercial exhibition. In 1940, Lucy & Desi were married. In 1954, an 8 1/2 pound meteorite crashed into a home in Sylacauga, Alabama. In 1995, Operation Desert Storm officially ended. In 2001, Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer, was apprehended and charged with multiple murders. In 2005, John Sentamu became the first Black archbishop in the Church of England. Happy Birthday, Louise-Victorine Ackermann, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Jane C. Wright, Shirley Chisholm, Joan Ganz Cooney. It's Independence Day in Barbados and South Yemen. Mission: Peace. La paix. AND COME HEAR US BARDS OF STUMPTOWN MONDAY AT FORD FOOD & DRINK (SE 11th & Division). Starts at 6:30. Eight poets, eight minutes each. https://www.pdxmonthly.com/articles/2019/10/23/meet-the-poets-who-defined-a-portland-era-and-are-still-at-it?fbclid=IwAR3VDoKrI-KWpllNgCNGjsoXXG0w2XxWaSXTmTDKKCAkFdxYEdy5V02CV58
Nov 23, 2019
November 23. In 534 BC, Thespis of Icaria became the first actor on record to portray a character onstage. In 1889, the first jukebox debuted in San Francisco at the Palais Royale Saloon. In 1936, Life was first published. In 1976, Jacques Mayol became the first man to dive 100m undersea without breathing equipment. In 1998, the tobacco industry settled with sick smokers for $206 billion, the largest civil settlement in America. In 2005, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf became the first woman leader in Africa (Liberia). Happy Birthday, Betti Alver, Anne Burns, PK Page, Elaine Horseman, Robin Roberts. It's Repudiation Day. Mission: REPUDIATE THESE LIARS. THE GOP IS DESTROYING AMERICA. THEY ARE ALL GUILTY. WAKE THE FUCK UP. PUT THE KOOLAID DOWN!!!! THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU.
Nov 16, 2019
November 16. (Frankly, today is a horrible day in history. I am leaving many bad things out. I think we already know how destructive mankind can be.) But . . . In 1776, the United Provinces (Netherlands) recognized the independence of the United States. In 1849, Dostoyevsky was sentenced to death for his anti-government activities in Russia. His sentence was later commuted to hard labor. In 1652, the asteroid 22 Kalliope was discovered. In 1904, the vacuum tube was patented. In 1938, LSD was first synthesized by Albert Hofmann in Basel. In 1940, the Nazis closed off the Warsaw Ghetto. In 1969, the US Army announced several men were being charged in the massacre and cover-up at My Lai. In 1973, David Bowie appeared in his first TV special. In 1990, Milli Vanilli were stripped of their Grammy since they were not really singing. Happy Birthday, Bonnie Greer, Zina Garrison, Diana Krall, Oksana Baiul, Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's International Day for Tolerance and Icelandic Language Day. Mission: Halda ro sinni. Stay calm.