Nov 30, 2019
November 30. In 1782, the US and Britain signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. In 1786, the Grand Duchy of Tuscany became the first modern state to abolish the death penalty. In 1858, the pepper shaker with a screw-on top was patented. In 1897, Edison's motion picture projector had its first commercial exhibition. In 1940, Lucy & Desi were married. In 1954, an 8 1/2 pound meteorite crashed into a home in Sylacauga, Alabama. In 1995, Operation Desert Storm officially ended. In 2001, Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer, was apprehended and charged with multiple murders. In 2005, John Sentamu became the first Black archbishop in the Church of England. Happy Birthday, Louise-Victorine Ackermann, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Jane C. Wright, Shirley Chisholm, Joan Ganz Cooney. It's Independence Day in Barbados and South Yemen. Mission: Peace. La paix. AND COME HEAR US BARDS OF STUMPTOWN MONDAY AT FORD FOOD & DRINK (SE 11th & Division). Starts at 6:30. Eight poets, eight minutes each. https://www.pdxmonthly.com/articles/2019/10/23/meet-the-poets-who-defined-a-portland-era-and-are-still-at-it?fbclid=IwAR3VDoKrI-KWpllNgCNGjsoXXG0w2XxWaSXTmTDKKCAkFdxYEdy5V02CV58
Nov 23, 2019
November 23. In 534 BC, Thespis of Icaria became the first actor on record to portray a character onstage. In 1889, the first jukebox debuted in San Francisco at the Palais Royale Saloon. In 1936, Life was first published. In 1976, Jacques Mayol became the first man to dive 100m undersea without breathing equipment. In 1998, the tobacco industry settled with sick smokers for $206 billion, the largest civil settlement in America. In 2005, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf became the first woman leader in Africa (Liberia). Happy Birthday, Betti Alver, Anne Burns, PK Page, Elaine Horseman, Robin Roberts. It's Repudiation Day. Mission: REPUDIATE THESE LIARS. THE GOP IS DESTROYING AMERICA. THEY ARE ALL GUILTY. WAKE THE FUCK UP. PUT THE KOOLAID DOWN!!!! THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU.
Nov 16, 2019
November 16. (Frankly, today is a horrible day in history. I am leaving many bad things out. I think we already know how destructive mankind can be.) But . . . In 1776, the United Provinces (Netherlands) recognized the independence of the United States. In 1849, Dostoyevsky was sentenced to death for his anti-government activities in Russia. His sentence was later commuted to hard labor. In 1652, the asteroid 22 Kalliope was discovered. In 1904, the vacuum tube was patented. In 1938, LSD was first synthesized by Albert Hofmann in Basel. In 1940, the Nazis closed off the Warsaw Ghetto. In 1969, the US Army announced several men were being charged in the massacre and cover-up at My Lai. In 1973, David Bowie appeared in his first TV special. In 1990, Milli Vanilli were stripped of their Grammy since they were not really singing. Happy Birthday, Bonnie Greer, Zina Garrison, Diana Krall, Oksana Baiul, Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's International Day for Tolerance and Icelandic Language Day. Mission: Halda ro sinni. Stay calm.
Nov 9, 2019
November 9. In 694, Egica, a king of the Visigoths, accused Jews of aiding Muslims and sentenced all Jews to slavery. (What the freaking hell???) In 1720, Arabs burned the synagogue of Judah HeHasid, and expelled the Ashkenazim from Jerusalem (What the freaking hell???). In 1911, George Claude applied for a patent for neon signs. In 1935, labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. In 1938, Nazis destroyed 7500 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews and rounded up 25,000 Jewish men during Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass (WTFH? See above). In 1961, the Professional Golfers Association eliminated its Caucasians Only rule. In 1967, the first issue of ROLLING STONE w/John Lennon on the cover was released. In 1970, the Supreme Court voted against hearing a case allowing Massachusetts to allow its residents to refuse service in Vietnam. In 1976, the UN General Assembly condemned apartheid in South Africa. In 1989, East Germany opened its borders to West Germany. In 1994, the chemical darmstadtium was discovered. In 1998, capital punishment was abolished in the United Kingdom. In 2016, America began its drastic descent into Hell because of an outdated electoral system, blatant partisan gerrymandering, and idiocy. Happy Birthday, Maud Howe Elliott, Florence R. Sabin, Hedy Lamarr, Dorothy Dandridge, Mary Travers. It's World Freedom Day. Mission: FREE US, PLEASE.
Nov 2, 2019
November 2. In 1721, Peter I, ruler of Russia, changed his title to emperor, not unlike modern-day America's so-called ruler. In 1867, HARPERS BAZAAR was founded. In 1920, the first commercial radio station (KDKA of Pittsburgh) began broadcasting. In 1947, Howard Hughes flew his Spruce Goose for the first and only time. In 1959, Charles Van Doren admitted he cheated on the NBC program "Twenty-One." In 1960, LADY CHATTERLY'S LOVER was found not guilty of obscenity. In 1963, Dion stormed out of a taping of TVs "Ready Steady Go!," complaining that the go-go girls were distracting. In 1965, Norman Morrison, a Quaker, set himself on fire in front of the Pentagon in protest of the use of napalm in the Vietnam War. In 1983, President Reagan signed a bill establishing MLK Jr Day as a federal holiday. In 1993, the US Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe--back when even GOP Senators gave half a shit about corruption. In 2003, the Episcopal Church consecrated its first openly gay bishop. Happy Birthday, Marion Jones Farquhar, Isabella Smith Andrews, Rose Bird, Maxine Nightingale, k.d. lang. It's All Souls' Day and International Day to End Impunity for Crimes Against Journalists. Mission: GET YOUR SOULS BACK, AND THEN LOCK UP ALL THOSE CRIMINALS.
Oct 26, 2019
October 26. In 1825, the Erie Canal opened. In 1854, Charles Post was born--the inventor of Grape Nuts, Postum and Post Toasties. In 1881, the Gunfight at the OK Corral between Wyatt Earp, his brothers, Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang took place in Tombstone, AZ. In 1935, Judy Garland made her singing debut at age 12 on Wallace Berry's radio show. In 1949, President Truman raised the minimum wage from 40 to 75 cents an hour. In 1955, THE VILLAGE VOICE was first published. In 1965, the Beatles were knighted. In 1970, "Doonesbury" premiered. On the same day, Muhammed Ali boxed for the first time after his 3-year hiatus due to draft evasion. In 1977, smallpox completely eradicated. In 1991, Washington Mayor Marion Barry entered prison in Petersburg, VA, for cocaine possession. Happy Birthday, Mahalia Jackson, Sarah Lee Lippincott, Etelka Kenez Heka, Hillary Clinton, Natalie Merchant. It's Armed Forces Day in Benin. Mission: Stay out of Benin.
Oct 19, 2019
October 19. [A slow news day.] In 439, the Vandals took Carthage. In 1765, Congress met and drew up a declaration of rights and liberties. In 1943, streptomycin, the first antibiotic remedy for tuberculosis, was isolated. In 1956, the Soviet Union and Japan signed a declaration officially ending their 11-year state of war. In 1973, President Nixon rejected an Appeals Court decision that he turn over the Watergate tapes. In 1983, Martin Luther King, Jr., Day was established as a national holiday. In 2003, Mother Teresa was beatified. Happy Birthday, Emma Bell Miles, Marjorie Tallchief, Patricia Ireland, Susan Straight, Cara Santa Maria. It's Mother Teresa Day. Mission: Let's take back America from these ethicless slobsters. Feel free to stay in your robe.
Oct 12, 2019
October 12. In 539 BC, the Persian army of Cyrus the Great took Babylon ending the Babylonian Empire. In 1692, the Salem Witch Trials ended. In 1773, America's first insane asylum opened in Virginia. In 1892, in celebration of the 400th anniversary of the rapist Columbus's landing in America, the Pledge of Allegiance was first recited in public schools. (Double UGH) In 1938, production began on "The Wizard of Oz." In 1945, Desmond Doss became the first conscientious objector to receive the US Medal of Honor. In 1957, Little Richard threw 4 diamond rings into the Hunger River, proving he was giving up rock and roll for God. (He returned to music 5 years later.) In 1962, the Columbus Day Storm struck the Pacific Northwest, killing 46 and causing $230 million worth of damage. In 1964, the Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1, the first space flight with a multi-person crew NOT wearing space suits. In 1978, Sid Vicious was arrested for the murder of Nancy Spungen, but died of a heroin overdose before the trial began. In 1997, John Denver was killed when his plane crashed into Monterey Bay. In 1998, Matthew Shepard died 5 days after his brutal beating in Laramie. Happy Birthday, Edith Stein, Perle Mesta, Ann Petry, Sally Little, Marion Jones. It's Freethought Day. Mission: Impeach them all. #zombieapocalypse #fakechritians #allLIES
Oct 5, 2019
October 5. In 1450, Luis IX, Duke of Bavaria, expelled Jews from his jurisdiction who would not be baptized. In 1789, the Women's March on Versailles effectively terminated royal authority. In 1877, the Nez Perce War came to an end in the Northwest with Chief Joseph surrendering after a 1000-mile retreat. In 1937, President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of aggressor nations. In 1970, PBS was founded. In 1974, David Kunst completed the first journey around the world on foot. It took 4 years and 21 pairs of shoes. In 1982, Tylenol products were recalled after bottles laced with cyanide were found in Chicago. Happy Birthday, Helen Churchill Candee, Elda Emma Anderson, Magda Szabo, Louise Fitzhugh, Maya Lin. It's World Teachers' Day. Mission: Terminate royal authority. America is not a monarchy. And quarantine aggressor nations.
Sep 28, 2019
September 28. In 1789, the first Congress passed a resolution that recommended a national day of thanksgiving. It was proclaimed a few days later by President Washington and eventually became the 4th Thursday in November. In 1850, the US Navy abolished flogging. In 1889, the General Conference on Weights and Measures defined the length of a meter. In 1928, Alexander Fleming noticed a bacteria-killing mold, which eventually became penicillin. In 1955, the World Series between the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers was televised in color for the first time. In 1961, "Dr. Kildare" premiered. In 1963, "She Loves You" by the Beatles was played on the radio by Murray the K--the first time a Beatles song was played in the US. Happy Birthday, Kate Wiggin, Alice Marble, Ethel Rosenberg, Brigitte Bardot, Janeane Garofalo. It's International Right to Know Day and National Day of Awareness against Child Pornography. Mission: Be transparent. Impeach the rapists--there are several.
Sep 21, 2019
September 21. In 1170, the Kingdom of Dublin fell to the Norman invaders. In 1780, Benedict Arnold gave the British the plans to West Point. In 1784, the first daily paper, THE PENNSYLVANIA PACKET AND DAILY ADVERTISER, was published. In 1792, the National Convention abolished the monarchy in France. (What a great idea!) In 1893, Frank and Charles Duryea designed and tested the first gasoline-powered automobile. In 1937, Tolkien's THE HOBBIT was first published. In 1942, on Yom Kippur, the Nazis sent 1000 Jews to Belzec extermination camp. That same day, Nazis murdered 2600 Jews in Ukraine. (F*** YOU, Nazis!) In 1957, "Perry Mason" debuted on CBS. In 1981, Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice on the US Supreme Court. (There were no rapes in her past. No, she was not a lying slimeball.) In 1981, Belize became independent. In 1991, Armenia became independent. Happy Birthday, Barbara Longhi, Shirley Conran, Leonard Cohen, Fannie Flagg, Kay Ryan, Marsha Norman. It's International Day of Peace and National Pecan Cookie Day. Mission: ABOLISH THE MONARCHY IN AMERICA over pecan cookies.
Sep 14, 2019
September 14. In 1741, George Handel completed the "Messiah" in time for an orphans' charity concert. In 1866, the typewriter ribbon was patented. In 1899, Henry Bliss became the first automobile fatality in New York City. In 1901, President McKinley died from an assassin's bullet (anarchist Leon Czolgosz). In 1975, Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton the first US-born saint. In 1984, Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic. Happy Birthday, Mae Boren Axton, Constance Baker Motley, Kate Millett, Joan Trumpauer Mulholland,
Amy Winehouse. Mission: Be your own Messiah. Why wait?
Sep 7, 2019
September 7. In 1888, Edith McLean became the first baby to be placed in an incubator. (I joined her 63 years later.) In 1911, poet Guillaume Apollinaire was arrested and jailed on suspicion of stealing the "Mona Lisa" from the Louvre. In 1915, the Raggedy Ann doll was patented. In 1916, US federal employees won the right to Workers' Compensation. In 1936, the last thylacine, a carnivorous marsupial named Benjamin, died in Tasmania. In 1966, "The Dick Van Dyke Show" aired its final episode. In 1978, Keith Moon, drummer for The Who, died of a hemenephirin overdose. In 1996, Tupac Shakur was shot in Las Vegas, dying six days later. Happy Birthday, Grandma Moses, Edith Sitwell, Nancy Keesing, Chrissie Hynde, Uta Pippig. It's Military Intelligence Day (what?) and National Threatened Species Day. Mission: Don't threaten species with your military, dammit--or your greed.
Aug 31, 2019
August 31. In 1895, German Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin patented the navigable balloon. In 1920, Lincoln Logs were patented (as Toy-Cabin Construction). In 1935, the act of exporting arms to belligerents was prohibited by an act signed by FDR. In 1943, the first US Navy ship to be named after a Black person (USS Harmon) was commissioned. In 1950, Gil Hodges hit 4 home runs by 4 different pitchers in the same game. In 1962, Trinidad and Tobago became independent. In 1991, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan and Kirghiziz declared their independence from the Soviet Union. In 1993, Russia finished removing its troops from Lithuania. In 1994, Russia finished removing its troops from Estonia, East Germany and the Baltics. And a cease-fire was declared by the IRA in Northern Ireland. In 1997, Princess Diana died in a Parisian car crash. And James Brown became the first US artist to appear in Lebanon. . In 2006, Munch's "The Scream" was recovered two years after it was stolen. Happy Birthday, Maria Montessori, LilyLaskine, Van Morrison, Richard Gere, Kim Kashkashian. It's the Day of Solidarity & Freedom in Poland, Independence Day in Kyrgyzstan, Malaya, Trinidad and Tobago, National Language Day in Moldova, and Self-Government Day in Borneo and Sabah. MIssion: Be impeccable with your word. And get free.
Aug 24, 2019
Saturday Morning Post. August 24. In 79, Mt Vesuvius erupted, burying Pompeii, Stabiae and Herculaneum in ash. In 410, the Visigoths overran Rose, symbolizing the fall of the Roman Empire. In 1349, 6000 Jews were killled in Mainz, Germany, after being blamed for the bubonic plague. (Oh, where was our King when we needed him?) In 1572, the Catholics began slaughtering French Protestants (Wait! Religion is good???) In 1814, the British forces set the White House and Capitol on fire. In 1869, the waffle iron was patented. In 1932, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across America. In 1941, Hitler announced he was stopping the systematic killing of the mentally ill and handicapped due to protests, although the killings continued for the remainder of the war. In 1950, Edith Sampson became the first black US delegate to the UN. In 1963, John Pennel broke the 17-foot barrier in pole-vaulting.In 1967, The YIPPIES, led by Abbie Hoffman, disrupted trade on the NYSE by throwing dollar bills from the viewing gallery, causing trading to cease as brokers scrambled for cash. In 1989, Voyager 2 photographed Neptune. In 2006, Pluto got demoted to dwarf planet. Happy Birthday, Zonia Baber, Jean Rhys, Maria Zubreeva, Ida Cook, Tosia Altman, Ava DuVernay. It's National Waffle Day and International Strange Music Day. Mission: Turn on some John Cage and eat some waffles.
Aug 10, 2019
August 10. In 1776, word of the Declaration of Independence reached London. In 1792, French revolutionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace, arresting Louis XVI. In 1793, the Louvre opened. In 1897, German chemist Felix Hoffman discovered an improved way to synthesize aspirin. In 1921, FDR was stricken with polio. In 1945, the day after the Nagasaki bombing, Japan announced they would surrender. In 1961, Operation Ranch Hand began, during which the US Army sprayed 20 million gallons of defoliants andd herbicides all over South Vietnam in an attempt to deprive the Viet Cong of food. In 1969, the Manson crazies continued their killing spree the day after killing Sharon Tate. In 1990, the Magellan space probe reached Venus. Happy Birthday, Zofia Kossak-Szczucka, Era Bell Thompson, Anita Lonsbrough, Betsey Johnson, Ronnie Spector. It's International Biodiesel Day. Mission: Storm the White House. Arrest them all.
Aug 3, 2019
August 3. In 70 AD, the fire resulting from the destruction of the 2nd Temple in Jerusalem was extinguished. (Hey, thanks.) In 1914, Germany declared war on France, leading to the onset of WW1 the following day when Britain declared war on Germany. In 1933, the first Mickey Mouse watch was sold for $2.75. In 1936, Jesse Owens won his first Olympic gold. In 1946, Santa Claus Land, the world's first themed amusement park, opened in Santa Claus, Indiana. In 1949, the NBA was formed. In 1963, the Beatles appeared for the final time at the Cavern Club in Liverpool--their 300th show. Happy Birthday, Regina Jonas, Dolores Del Rio, Maggie Kuhn, P.D. James, Beverly Lee. It's International Beer Day. Mission: Rest up in preparation for tomorrow--my birthday, along w/Barack Obama's, Louis Armstrong's, and my close personal friend, Billy Bob Thornton's.
Jul 27, 2019
Saturday Morning Post. July 27. In 1689, the Battle of Killiecrankle ended in what was called the Glorious Revolution. In 1890, Vincent Van Gogh shot himself. He died two days later. In 1921, insulin (and its ability to regulate blood sugar) was discovered. In 1940, Bugs Bunny debuted in "A Wild Hare." In 1944, Guam was liberated. In 1953, the Korean War was officially ended. In 1965, a law requiring health warnings on cigarette packs was signed into law. In 1974, Congress started impeachment procedures against Nixon for obstruction of justice. In 1976, John Lennon was allowed permanent residency in the US. The same day, Tina Turner filed for divorce from Ike. In 1999, Col. Eileen Collins completed a five-day US space shuttle commander, completing a five-day mission. In 2003, the BBC reported that there was no Loch Ness monster. Happy Birthday, Lyudmila Rudenko, Irene Fischer, Elizabeth Hardwick, Peggy Fleming, Janet Eilber, Cassandra Clare. It's Martyrs and Wounded Soldiers Day in Vietnam. Mission: Gloriously revolt against the monsters.
Jul 20, 2019
July 20. In 1801, a 1235-lb cheese ball was presented to President Jefferson by farmer Elisha Brown, Jr. (Hmm, I wonder what kind of damage a 1235-lb cheeseball could do to a 250-lb cheeseball??) In 1807, Nicephore Niepce was awarded a patent for the world's first internal combustion engine. In 1848, the first Women's Rights Convention in Seneca Falls concluded. In 1881, Sitting Bull surrendered to federal troops in Montana. In 1903, Ford shipped its first car. In 1934, the National Guard was called out to quell a longshoremen's strike on Portland's docks. In 1940, the first freeway opened in California (Arroyo Seco Parkway). In 1944, an assassination attempt by German officials on Adolf Hitler unfortunately failed. In 1965, "Like a Rolling Stone" was released. In 1969, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin Jr walked on the moon (as I sulked in the basement). In 1977, the CIA revealed it had engaged in mind-control experiments. In 2005, Canada legalized same-sex marriage. In 2012, James Holmes opened fire at a movie theater in Aurora, CO, killing 12. In 2017, OJ Simpson was paroled. Happy Birthday, Julie Vinter Hansen, Cindy Walker, Natalie Wood, Judy Chicago, Sandra Oh. It's International Chess Day and Tree Planting Day. Mission: THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS. VOTE THESE GREEDY, ETHICLESS, THICKBRAINED FASCISTS OUT! Then, plant a tree for the restoration of democracy in America.
Jul 13, 2019
July 13. In 587 BC, Babylon's siege of Jerusalem ended with the destruction of Solomon's Temple. In 1793, journalist and revolutionary Jean-Paul Marat was assassinated in his bathtub by Charlotte Corday, a member of the opposition. In 1836, patent #1 was issued for a locomotive traction wheel. (There were 9957 previous unnumbered patents.) In 1863, anti-Civil War draft protestors began three days of rioting in NYC. There were 1000 casualties. In 1956, the first AI workshop was held at Dartmouth. In 1977, there was a 24-hour electrical blackout in NYC. All hell broke loose. In 1978, Lee Iococca was fired by Henry Ford II. In 1984, Terry Wallis was left comatose after a car accident, only to awaken 19 years later. Happy Birthday, Margaret Murray, Emma Asson, Dorothy Round, Marcia Brown, Naomi Shemer. Mission: Awaken.